


Seeing

by fluffymusketeer



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Dirty Talk, Explicit Consent, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Manga Spoilers, One Shot, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 04:37:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12357639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffymusketeer/pseuds/fluffymusketeer
Summary: Eren and Levi get trapped in a cave. Manga spoilers up to Ch. 97.





	Seeing

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to more Levi & Eren: Awkward in Love, and a good old trapped-in-a-cave cliché to boot! This is my first crack at writing Eren POV/teenage boy brain. This story takes place during the time skip, and I have tried to capture a little of older Eren from the recent chapters too. I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Many thanks to [CommanderTrashPanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderTrashPanda/) and [sugarplumsenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarplumsenpai/) for taking the time to beta read this fic, for your excellent advice, for your reassurance, and for pushing me to improve! You are both stars.

**Seeing**

 

There’d been too many of them, in the end.

 _Fuck it’s actually over_ , Eren thinks, as an enormous meaty hand drags him from the neck of his titan. Its muscular form lays prone in a steep rocky ravine. He makes a half-hearted and ultimately futile attempt to cling onto it, as if he can somehow claw his way back inside the nape and resume fighting. But its vast shell is being devoured by the horde, torn into splatters of steaming flesh and sinew, and it is surely only seconds now before he goes the same way.

Why did he charge off ahead by himself? He’d gotten angry, felt driven by some monstrous distraction when the titans had pounced into the right wing of the scouting formation, scattering friend and comrade alike.

He’d sunk his teeth into his hand while he was still flying through the air, halfway between his dying horse and the ground, his one thought to _get them away!_

Then he’d charged, his titan roaring to the skies, and they’d followed. Memories of multiple voices shouting “Eren!” ringing out behind him, until it was just the pounding of huge feet shaking the landscape. He’d ducked into this ravine, attempted to climb his way up the loose and rocky crags before they caught him.

But catch him they did, and now he stares into a gaping maw and what will surely be a sharp and painful demise. He is too exhausted to transform again. He’s done it three times already today, once for an experiment, once to help form a bridge across another ravine, and this last time due to the ambush. The long charge across the landscape has used the last reserves of his strength.

He’s bleakly aware – as if in one of his waking dreams – of the sensation of his own bones crunching.

Eren closes his eyes. _I’m sorry, everyone_. _I fucked up._

Yet neither can he prevent the odd spark of relief that ignites behind his breaking ribcage. He’d almost be tempted to smile, if it weren’t for the agony. He remembers Hannes doing the same, a long time ago, and it finally makes sense. _It’s over._

Something solid careens into him sideways.

“Oof!” He feels himself ripped from the hand of the titan. The world goes dark, and his body lands hard on rock and stone, a heaviness on top of him. Pain burns through his chest. He cries out as his lungs splinter. _What the hell?_

He feels a harsh pull on the harness over his chest. “Move, Eren!”

“C-Captain?” He feels winded and disoriented.

“Move!”

It is as firm an order as he’s ever been given, and Eren’s limbs are moving in soldierly obedience before he even knows which way is up and which way is down. He is scrambling backwards in agony, practically yanked along by his own harness. As his spinning vision clears, he becomes aware of a titan’s hand reaching into the mouth of some sort of cave, a cave he is being dragged deeper into. The rock is crumbling, shafts of light spilling down all around him. An enormous finger brushes his leg and he kicks out with a yelp, trying to get up.

The hand reaches further in, becomes a wrist, then an arm, slowly blocking out the light. The cave narrows. Somehow Eren manages to get to his feet despite being tugged backwards by his own harness and the screaming pain in his torso.

The boxes of his gear begin to scrape along the walls of the cave. He can feel Captain Levi’s chest against his back now, panting harshly, breath fluttering over Eren’s neck. They slow as rocks close in on all sides. Levi mutters, “Shit.”

The arm is still coming towards them.

Suddenly he feels Levi’s hands at his waist, scrabbling at the buckles that keep his boxes, his gear, and his blades secure. “Off.”

“I can do it!” Eren says, unlatching buckles and straps, gritting his teeth with every movement. He hears rustling behind him as Levi works on his own gear.

The awkward boxes drop and they scramble backwards. It is becoming a crawl space the deeper they go. The titan’s arm is in up to the elbow, and Eren winces as it scatters the weapons and gear. He didn’t have time to make a grab for them.

“Shit. Keep moving!” Levi says behind him.

It is getting dark now, the crumbling mouth of the cave no longer giving way. Then, as the titan forces its arm in for another grab, all light disappears.

Eren blindly feels his way backwards along the rocks. His elbows bang against the sides of the crevice. It closes in tighter and tighter as they edge backwards. He is practically sitting in Captain Levi’s lap, which under any other circumstances might make him blush a little.

A grunt behind him indicates they have crawled as far as they can go. Levi wraps two arms around his waist and hoists him backwards. Eren gasps in pain as his rib bones grind _._ The titan appears to reach its limit too. Eren can hear its questing fingers, somewhere not far from his feet. He uses his boots for leverage and shrinks back. He hears a faint thud and a muffled curse from behind. Now he is almost definitely sitting in the Captain’s lap.

They are both fighting for breath.

Eren waits for the cave to collapse, crushing them under falling debris, or for the titan to find an extra few feet of reach and drag him out by his ankles.

But neither of those things happen. His frantic heartbeat begins to slow a little. Eren realises they are not about to die. For now.

Something firm drops onto his shoulder. Levi’s forehead? “Fuck,” he mutters into Eren’s neck. “You fucking _idiot_.”

“S-sorry, Captain,” Eren says. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Of course it did.” There is a fleeting brush of hair against his cheek. “Next time, try not to use humanity’s only hope as bait, Eren.”

“Yes, sir.”

The sound of rock striking rock and the dull grunts of the titan accompany their breathing. Eren tries to get a hold of himself, blinking into nothing but an inky void.

He can feel Levi’s hands locked tight against his stomach, can smell the scent of steaming blood as the titan shreds its arm on the jagged rocks, can taste the dust and sweat and fear, but he can’t see a thing _._

And he thinks he can hear… no, he hears something heavy _thwump_ into the roof of the cave, a following _thwack_ on the ground that makes the surrounding cave shudder.

Again, again, again, as the titan flails its arm up and down, crashing into unstable rock. A dull rumble begins to build from all directions. Levi tenses behind him. “Eren,” he says. “We need—”

 _It’s not going to hold_. Earth collapses all around. The briefest flash of blinding sunlight—

Eren is already twisting, ribcage grinding, reaching for— _PROTECT!_

The ground beneath them falls away.

 

He’s underwater. He’s still human. The world is black, and wet, and freezing cold.

His lungs swell automatically, yearning for air in shock. Some kind of primitive survival instinct kicks in. Eren clamps down on the breath he’d been about to take and flails his arms and legs. They are heavy, and he has no idea which way is up and which way is down. The complete absence of light or visual reference is just about the most disorienting sensation he’s ever known.

His hand touches air. He kicks in that direction, breaches the surface at last. He gasps, sucks in oxygen.

Then he flounders, lungs in agony, combat boots waterlogged and heavy. Sinks back under.

Eren tries to get his limbs to co-ordinate but his chest hurts. His ribcage is certainly broken, perhaps his lungs are punctured too, and his body feels fragile and exhausted. Somehow though, that primitive instinct to survive pushes him back up. This time he stays afloat.

He treads water, wishing desperately that he could _see_. All he can hear are his tortured breaths – he can’t get enough air – and the _splooshing_ of the freezing water. The silence is deafening and— _fuck, no!_

“Captain?” he says in a hoarse voice. “Captain?!”

There is no answer.

He summons the loudest voice he can muster, forces himself to shout, “Captain Levi!”

The only reply is the echo of his own voice.

No no no no no. Eren cannot remember the fall, has no idea how far they fell, where they are, what this black and freezing wet place even is, but the one thing he knows for sure is that he had turned, held on…

He sucks in a breath, wants to scream at the splintering in his lungs, and dives.

The water is deep, deep enough that he cannot feel the bottom, deep enough that his eyeballs begin to throb behind his eyelids as he swims through the pain and reaches his arms around for _something, anything…_

He’s beginning to think he’ll have to head back to the surface – _fuckwhichwayisup_ – for another gulp of air but Eren tells himself _No. This is not how the Captain dies_ _._

There. _There!_

His hand brushes something that isn’t water, something soft but solid. Summoning what remains of his strength, fighting against his own natural buoyancy, he swims down, fingers clawing. They latch into billowing wet material, find a solid body beneath.

Then he is kicking his legs, the remaining air in his lungs and his innate stubbornness guiding him.

He surfaces, gasping and wheezing. The Captain’s body is disturbingly still. He feels around, twists his fingertips into wet hair, ensures the Captain’s head is above water. He has no idea what to do. Should he shake him? Is he injured? Should he try to swim them… where?! He can’t see anything, damn it! The water is so cold that even his titan body heat is struggling to keep him warm. He feels woozy. “Captain? Captain!” He gives the body a shake. Then a harder one.

_Wake up. I don’t know what to do._

Eren can barely think straight. It’s so cold. He’s worried he will pass out. He treads water and reaches a hand up, fumbles to place it against the Captain’s lips. Listens and feels for any sign of— _no, no, no,_ _he’s_ _not breathing_.

They have to get out of the water. It’s all Eren can think of. So he tugs the body on top of his own, one arm under the chest so the Captain’s head will stay above the water, and forces his free arm and his legs into action.

The splash, splash, splash of water rings in his ears.

He tries to calm his breathing. He needs air. He can taste his own blood. Come on, Eren. Come on. Don’t pass out. Find somewhere out of the water, remember the basic survival training, free the chest of any restrictions, breathe into the mouth, compressions for the lungs… _you’re not allowed to die, Levi._

The body under his arm jerks into life.

Eren flounders as legs and arms thrash against his own. He hears retching, water being coughed from lifeless lungs, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

“It’s alright, Captain!” he croaks, struggling to keep his _own_ head above water. “I’ve got you! It’s me, it’s Eren. You’re okay. It’s Eren.”

The Captain splutters and flails.

“Captain, stop! You have to stop!”

For a horrid moment Eren thinks he might lose his grasp on the panicking body, but his words must get through because the Captain begins to still in his arms. Eren regains his rhythm, determined to keep swimming. It’s so cold. Levi cannot be in this water any longer.

“Eren?” The Captain’s voice is weak.

“I’ve got you, Captain,” he says. “Just keep still, okay? I won’t let go.”

There’s the sound of a soft sigh. Fingers press into his forearm.

“It’s… dark.”

“I know.”

“C-cold.”

 _Tell me about it_ , Eren thinks. He focuses on his strokes, on keeping his free arm and both of his legs moving. His chest hurts so much, it hurts to breathe, but he can feel the faint tingle of his titan healing kicking in. He has no idea if he’s swimming in the right direction or not. Maybe there _isn’t_ any dry ground in this… whatever they are in. Cave? Cavern? Underground lake? If there isn’t, then they’re fucked, both of them. He can’t transform, not yet, he needs to heal and rest. His senses narrow to the hand clutching his forearm. The grip is weak, but it’s there.

When his boot strikes something solid, he could cry with relief. _Oh thank fuck._

Then both of his feet are scrabbling against solid ground, and the water is getting lower, and he’s dragging the Captain backwards. The ground is uneven. He fumbles his way out—

Trips, and they both fall backwards. Levi lands atop him and Eren yells out in agony.

Levi slumps sideways, rolling off of him, dripping frigid water everywhere. His breathing is slow. Eren lays still and pants, forcing air into his protesting lungs. The pain makes him see colours whenever he closes his eyelids.

 _Come on, Eren_.

He just wants to lie down and sleep, but instead he wills his body into action. Gets onto his knees and reaches for Levi. The Captain is alarmingly still, not even shivering, and Eren knows enough to know that’s not a good sign. _Think, think._

Right, wet clothes off. _Sorry about this, sir_.

Eren fumbles in the disorienting gloom, coughing up fluid that tastes like blood and trying to get his bearings. Strips off the wet cloak and soggy jacket as calmly and clinically as he can. Finds the straps of the Captain’s harness, fiddles with the buckles, drags them down over his biceps and forearms. Finds shirt buttons, slips them open one by one. The Captain’s skin is icy cold.

“Eren…”

“It’s okay, Captain,” Eren says. “We need to get you warm.”

“Are you… injured?”

“No. I’m fine.” Eren pushes soggy material over Levi’s shoulders. “Just going to take your shirt off now, Captain. You can chew me out for it later, if you want.”

A soft huff is the only reply he gets.

Eren rolls Levi over so he can remove the shirt. He hesitates for just a moment, then unbuckles the harness straps around his thighs. He reaches for the zip of Levi’s trousers. _Just don’t think about it, Eren,_ he tells himself.

The only sign that Levi is aware of what he’s doing is another quiet grunt.

Eren is shaking now as his body warms up. His lungs and ribs begin to ache in earnest. Distantly, in a part of his mind he’s barely aware of, he prioritises the healing of his lungs. His clothes are drenched, but he hears a dull hiss as they start to steam. He’s likely breathing out steam too as his lungs heal. His thoughts skim over the obvious solution to raising Levi’s body temperature.

Levi is shivering by the time Eren gets his boots and trousers off, noticing slightly deliriously as he does so that Levi isn’t wearing underwear, and he hopes the shivering is a good sign. He’d never paid much attention in survival training. Relied on Armin’s meticulous note-taking. _Well now, that was a bit stupid, wasn’t it?_ He fumbles in the pitch black to lay Levi’s clothes on the surrounding rocks in the hope that they will dry a bit. The sound of water lapping at rocks accompanies their breathing. It smells damp and fusty and, well, like a cave. Sounds are echoing. He thinks it might be quite a big cave.

He hears a shuffle. Eren reaches out a hand, then stills. His fingers hover in mid-air. He doesn’t want to accidentally grab Levi’s ass or something. _Ugh, get a grip,_ he commands himself. _The man is hypothermic, for fuck’s sake. He needs your help._

He decides brazening it out is his best option. “Captain, I’m going to share my body heat with you now,” he declares, despite the hoarseness of his voice and the blood bubbling up from his lungs, and he reaches for the clasp of his cloak.

“H-hurry up,” Levi says.

The complete lack of protest is enough to dissolve Eren’s nerves.

He strips methodically, listening to Levi’s breathing. He leaves his wet underwear on. Despite his possibly horrendous injuries, he takes a precautionary moment to peer down in the general direction of his crotch and orders _don’t you dare_ , then he shuffles over the uneven rocks. They bite sharply into his knees.

Then Eren lies down and spoons his naked superior officer.

Eren tries to be gentle as he draws Levi’s back against his chest. The ridges of his spine and shoulder blades feel sharp and cold, and Eren gasps as they meet his heated skin.

Levi shudders, then tries to roll over.

“Captain?”

“Closer,” he whispers.

“Yes, sir.” Eren helps him turn until they are face to face. Levi burrows his nose into Eren’s chest and curls up like a needy kitten, shunting Eren’s legs apart to slip his feet and calves between them. Eren stretches an arm out and lifts Levi’s head to rest against his bicep, cushioning him against the rocks.

“Should I let you sleep, Captain?” Eren asks. He’s not sure. He doesn’t know if Levi has injuries or not.

“Best not to.”

“Alright.”

His own pain and the Captain’s violent trembling keep most of Eren’s inappropriate thoughts at bay. Then he starts to mull over the direness of their current situation and that definitely vanquishes any remaining thoughts of nakedness.

Shit, the cave collapsed! They fell a long way. Eren is injured, and maybe Levi is too. They’re underground… probably. Eren ran so far, how did Levi even keep up?! Where are the others? Are they safe? Does anyone even know they’re here? _So stupid, Eren._

“Talk to me, Eren,” Levi says, apparently thinking along the same lines despite his near-drowning. “What is our c-current… c-current…”

“Situation?” Eren offers.

“Mm.”

Eren wheezes. “Not great, sir. I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. The attack was so sudden. We haven’t seen any of them for so long. I think I panicked.”

Cold, wet hair brushes against his chest as Levi moves his head, possibly in agreement.

Eren blinks into the overwhelming darkness. “I think we fell into some sort of underground cavern? Obviously there’s water—” he ignores Levi’s grunt “—and dry ground. I can’t see anything, but it sounds big. We, um, removed our gear and blades. I don’t think I’ll be able to transform again for a day or so. I think the titan that grabbed me might have cracked a couple of ribs, actually. No, don’t move. They’re healing, I’m fine. I’m not sure if we should try to explore or not. Might be unsafe.” _And we’re kind of naked-cuddling._ “Um… that’s about it, sir.”

“F-fucked then,” is the muffled reply against his skin.

“Maybe. Did any of the others follow? Do they know we’re here?”

After a moment, Levi says, “No.”

“Oh.”

“You’re… id-idiot.”

“Yeah, I know.” Eren sighs. “Thanks for saving me.”

“S’ok.”

Levi goes quiet after that. Eren realises, slowly and with some terror, that he will have to check the man over for injuries. In this, a darkness so complete that Eren is starting to forget what light looks like. Which means touching. He begins by blindly feeling around in the vicinity of Levi’s head. When he feels damp locks, he inches his fingertips to the back of Levi’s skull, testing for lumps or cuts or worse. It’s difficult to tell with Levi’s hair still wet from the lake, but Levi makes no sounds of pain or protest. Then again, it’s Levi.

Eren is relieved when his assessment doesn’t appear to reveal any head injuries.

Which just leaves the rest of Levi. They must have fallen pretty far, through collapsing rocks and dirt, and though they’d landed in water Eren is concerned that Levi hadn’t surfaced. That he’d had to be dragged out on the verge of drowning.

Eren’s runs his palm down the back of Levi’s neck.

“Eren, wh-what are…?”

“I’m just checking for injuries, sir. I’m sorry, I know it’s a bit weird.”

“I’m fine,” Levi says, firmer than he has thus far been sounding.

“You nearly drowned, Captain,” Eren reminds him. “Are you in any pain? Was there a reason you couldn’t swim? Legs? Arms? Ankle?”

He’s about to move his hand to Levi’s shoulders when the quiet reply brings him up short. “C-can’t swim.”

Eren clenches his hand into a fist. Removes it from Levi’s neck. “Oh.”

Levi sighs. “Just let me rest.” He sounds exhausted.

“Yes, sir.”

Eren listens to the wash of the underground lake, the occasional _plink plink_ of dripping water echoing through the cavern, and Levi’s slow but steady breathing. Eren’s own breathing is ragged, and these are the only sounds which disturb the silence. It hangs all around them, a thick and impenetrable cloak, quieter than any quiet he has ever known, blacker than any black he has ever seen. Whether Eren closes his eyes or not makes not a blind bit of difference. He _is_ blind, for all intents and purposes.

He thought he knew quiet before, but Eren realises now he hadn’t. Always the soft rustle of wind through grass, of insects buzzing and birds chirping, of distant waves breaking. He’d grown used to peaceful moments these last two years, as they took their first steps, then their first expeditions, beyond the walls. But nothing could have prepared him for what it feels like to be so deep underground. The silence is so heavy it’s loud. His ears are ringing with it. It’s suffocating.

At least the titan horde has no way in to this underground place, which is somewhat of a relief.

 _That probably means there’s no way out,_ Eren’s treacherous mind points out.

He sighs. Pulls Levi a little closer. Levi seems content to let him, merely breathing cool breaths against Eren’s chest. Eren does not move his legs and especially does not move his hips.

But Levi has managed to keep a polite amount of space between them down there, even as his legs and arms are tucked inside Eren’s own, and for that Eren is grateful.

He finds himself fighting a yawn. He’s exhausted. He’s not remotely comfortable on the sharp rocks, but his eyelids are heavier with every passing second.

 _Must stay awake, keep Levi awake,_ he thinks. _Must stay awake._

 

_Eren._

_Eren._

_Eren. Eren._ “Eren. Eren!”

Eren wakes with a jolt, and is distantly aware of his forehead clunking against a squishy surface. “Ow!” he says, befuddled.

“Shit! Watch it, brat.”

He blinks and sees nothing, and he cannot remember where he is or what’s going on.

“Jaeger, wake the fuck up,” says a disembodied voice. It sounds grumpy.

His whole body begins to throb and ache. Eren groans when the situation comes back to him in a rush. “Ugh.”

“Feel like crap? Join the club.”

“You sound better,” Eren croaks.

“Jaeger, get up already. We need to find a way out of here.”

The urgent undertone in Levi’s voice has him shifting on the sharp rocks. Are they in danger? He is drowsy, energy drained from the effort of healing, but he’s pleased to note he can breathe easily again. He must have been asleep for several hours at least, maybe longer. His ribs still feel bruised as fuck though. “Are there titans?” he asks in a daze.

“What? No. But we can’t stay here. They’ll never find us.”

Eren reaches out for something to hold on to before he knows he’s doing it.

When he registers bare skin beneath his palm, he snatches his hand back. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Stop fucking about, Jaeger,” Levi says. Eren feels a palm clutch haphazardly around his bicep. He’s dragged upright.

An involuntary hiss escapes him.

The hand lets go. “Wait, you’re injured?”

“Yeah. Cracked ribs.”

“Oh. Shit.”

“I’ll be okay,” Eren says. He squints his eyes. It’s impossible to get his bearings or orient himself in this overwhelming black shadow. He focuses on Levi’s breathing instead. “How about you, Captain?” Levi is acting a bit… weird. Weirder than his normal level of weird, anyway. “You nearly, um, drowned.”

“I’m alive. Can you walk?”

“I think so.”

“Good. We need to assess our surroundings. I’ll go in one direction, you take another. You keep in verbal contact at all times, understand?”

Eren rubs at his eyes. He feels like he’s scrambling to catch up, and Levi is not just a few paces but miles ahead. “What?”

“Do you have cracked ears too?”

“Captain, we can’t… you can’t… wait, _what?_ ” Eren is baffled. Has Levi gone mad? Has he forgotten that they are in complete darkness, possibly surrounded by any number of unknown hazards and most certainly surrounded by freezing water, and he _cannot swim?_

But he can hear Levi getting up, the soft slap of bare feet on rocks. _Is he still naked?!_

“Captain!”

“Jaeger, the sooner we—”

“Will you _stop_ calling me Jaeger?”

There is a short pause. “Sorry. Eren _._ Alright, I know you’re injured. But I’m—”

Eren tries to get up, but his legs won’t seem to co-operate. And he is definitely still mostly naked. “No, Captain. No _._ ”

His firm order bounces around the unknown vastness of the cavern.

“No?” Levi says. He sounds pissed. “Soldier, are you fucking—”

“Levi!” Eren interrupts in utter disbelief. “Stop… panicking, or whatever it is you’re doing right now, and just _think_.”

Eren is a little surprised at himself, and maybe Levi is too because he doesn’t answer. At all. Perhaps Eren has shocked him into silence. Perhaps. Eren takes a deep breath, and begins searching blindly for wherever he put his trousers.

“Captain,” he says. “There’s no _way_ I’m letting you go marching off around an unknown underground cavern by yourself. We can’t see anything! What if you fall in the water again? You can’t swim! What if you fall down a hole and break your back or your head or something? Some end that would be for Humanity’s Strongest Soldier! And you expect me to just sit here and listen to you screw around and get yourself killed? No. No!”

Eren fumbles for his trousers. They’re still damp, but at least they’re not soaking anymore. He begins tugging them on, the damp material awkward and bunching around his knees. Levi still isn’t saying anything.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Eren continues. “I know it’s not my place, but you’re being… stupid _._ And you’re going to wait here and let me do it. Do I have to remind you—”

“Fucking… fine! Alright! Point taken. Get the _fuck_ on with it, asshole.”

What the hell? “Fine,” Eren snaps, taken aback by the insult.

“Fine _,_ ” Levi snaps back.

 _What is wrong with him?_ Eren has never known Levi to act like this before. Half the man’s damn reputation is built on him being calm and sensible in a crisis. It’s what holds the Special Operations Squad together! He’s rarely known Levi to be anything but drily blasé or grouchily determined in the face of overwhelming odds. He does have a temper, sure – Eren has certainly been on the receiving end of it a few times – but Levi’s temper is never idiotic. It’s usually because the rest of them are being stupid, not the other way around. Eren is nothing if not stubborn though, and he refuses to let whatever is going on with Levi screw up their chances, superiority be damned.

He manages to shunt his damp trousers on and gets to his feet. He can’t help but point his finger in what he thinks is Levi’s general direction.

“Stay,” he says. “Here. I mean it.”

He thinks Levi actually snarls in response. But it sounds like he’s sitting himself down, in a shuffly sort of way.

_At last! Victory._

Eren searches for his boots, tugs them on with an unpleasant squelch, then totters in what he hopes is the direction of the water. It’s as good a place to start as any. When water splashes around his boots, he draws back a few paces and kneels down, ribs aching like fuck. Sure, in theory he can survive a sharp fall into a deep crevice or being pitched back into the freezing lake, but he doesn’t particularly want to.

He’s too angry to keep in verbal contact as Levi had ordered, and Levi doesn’t appear inclined to remind him either. Screw Levi for making him do this before he’s fully healed. It’s not like the cavern is going anywhere, damn it! He can hear the man’s breathing, a little rapid and not far off. Eren begins crawling on his knees along the water’s edge. He puts his left hand out, fingertips touching where the water washes up against the rock. It’s the only obvious feature he has for a frame of reference, so he might as well make use of it.

He hadn’t noticed in his desperation to get them both out of the freezing cold, but the rocks are smoother where they meet the water. He remembers Armin explaining such processes to him once, as they had stood together and peered at sea birds nesting on strangely shaped cliffs by the ocean. The smooth rocks beneath his knees feel blissful in comparison to the sharp stones they’d been resting on.

He cannot hear Levi any more, and it’s unsettling. The water is still going.

The blindness is oppressive. Eren feels trapped.

Inching his way along the water’s edge, grumbling internally and fingertips trailing, something _clicks_ inside Eren’s head. Snatches of a conversation, long ago discarded as irrelevant, between a befuddled new recruit and a kind veteran soldier. _“They say he used to be an infamous rogue in the underground city…”_

 _Petra!_ Eren thinks. _Thank you._

Perhaps he hadn’t thought much of it at the time, fifteen and bedazzled and confused as he was, but Levi’s tetchy behaviour now makes more sense. Eren has never been to the underground city beneath Mitras, but he has heard – back when the old king was in power – that it was nearly impossible to escape from. That has changed with Historia’s reign. The Captain doesn’t interfere with Historia’s administration very often, but Eren remembers Levi’s unexpected involvement in setting up the orphanage. Remembers the day they brought the kids up from the underground.

 _He hates it_ , Eren realises. _He hates being underground._

Hates it the way Eren hates the walls, every time he catches sight of them.

Eren realises Levi is – quite possibly – trapped in his own idea of torture right now. Contemplating dying underground, in the black and the miserable, dripping silence. Contemplating never seeing the sky again. If it’s making Eren feel smothered and despairing, he can only imagine what it’s doing to Levi. Eren’s anger evaporates as if it had never existed.

Time for a peace offering. “Can you hear me, Captain?” he calls.

“Yes,” is the short reply. Its tone tells him to fuck off _._

Huh, Eren thinks, surprised. Levi’s voice doesn’t come from a direction he expects, and it’s... nearer? It sounds like it’s coming from behind him. Ugh, screw this darkness. He’s getting them both out of here and into sunlight again if it’s the last thing he does.

Eren’s burgeoning suspicion is confirmed when Levi’s breathing come back into focus. He’s still trailing his left hand along the water’s edge.

He sits back on his knees and faces the breathing. “Well,” he says. “We’re on an island.”

 

After much cursing at his aching ribs and two severely grazed knees, Eren has mapped out the island with the palms of his hands. It’s not very big, but it’s big enough. He thinks it will comfortably fit his titan when he’s able to transform again, and that’s all that matters really, as it’s the only way they have a hope of crossing the freezing lake safely and finding a way out of here. There are the smooth rocks where the water meets the edges of the island, the annoyingly fucking sharp rocks further in, and in its centre is some sort of vertical formation, reaching up far beyond Eren’s outstretched arms. Eren makes a half-hearted attempt at shimmying up it. The attempt doesn’t end well, for him or his still-healing ribcage. Water is dripping slowly down the sides of the – clusters of rock-chimneys? They’re bumpy and misshapen. And very slippery.

Eren cannot remember the name of such formations but he _knows_ this is something Armin has told him about as well. Armin has been reading up on whatever he can get his hands on about the outside world these last few years, and Eren is the one he tells about his discoveries. “Stal— stala…?” Eren is saying, groping around the strange rocks.

“Fuck if I know,” Levi replies from behind him. He’s still sitting in the exact same spot

“Stala… stala-something. Damn it, I’m having Armin give me another lesson when we get back.”

“Who _cares?_ ”

Eren is doing his level best not to provoke Levi, to be calm and conversational and respectful. Now he’s listening for it, he can pick out the faint threads of defensiveness and uncertainty underpinning Levi’s grouchy responses. But it has to be said, patience has never been Eren’s strong point, and he’s getting a little tired of being a verbal punching bag.

“I guess we’re pretty lucky I came across this island, aren’t we?” he says, pointedly. “Who knows how big this underground lake is! Could’ve been swimming forever.”

He hears Levi huff.

“I guess it’s safe for you to move around now, Captain,” he says at last. “I think… I really think the best course of action is for us to wait here until I can transform again.” An insistent voice in the back of his head – frankly, it sounds like Armin’s voice – is telling him he’s right.

“How long?”

“Still feels like a day or so.” He’s gotten better over the years at assessing his physical condition and judging how much his body can take, as frustrating as it is. His three transformations leading up to this catastrophe had really taken it out of him, not to mention the effort of healing punctured lungs and crushed ribs. He thinks, _I wish I could throw caution to the fucking wind!_ But if he tries to transform too soon he’ll do neither of them any good, and they’ll just end up stuck here for longer. And he doesn’t particularly want to be. He’s already getting hungry. “But the water seems fresh,” he says. “We won’t have to go thirsty.”

Levi sighs. It sounds heavy and weary. “Well, that’s something, at least.”

“Do… do you want to get dressed and come sit with me against these stala-thingys? It’s more comfortable here.”

“I already got dressed.”

“Oh.”

 _Well, whatever._ There isn’t much he can do but wait to see if Levi will hoist himself out of his mood. Eren’s hopes aren’t particularly high, but he figures Levi’s innate common sense will take back over at some point. Eren isn’t used to being the mature one.

Eventually, he hears some muted shuffling. He listens to Levi fumble his way over. “I’m here,” he murmurs, since voice is one of the only guides they have in the dark. It sounds like Levi comes to a stop in front of him.

There is a long pause. Eren waits.

Levi says, “Well, make some space then, brat. I’m cold.”

Eren lets out a breath of pure relief. “Of course, Captain. You want to huddle up?”

“Seems sensible.”

He expects Levi to sit next to him, so he’s kind of shocked into a stupor when Levi’s hands fumble at his knees and push them apart. Then Levi just… plonks himself right between Eren’s legs. He inches backwards until his back is pressed to Eren’s bare chest.

Eren cannot prevent the hiss that escapes between his teeth.

Levi stiffens. “When you say cracked ribs—”

“I’m fine,” Eren says quickly. “Just taking a while to heal because I transformed so much earlier. So, uh, no bear hugs okay?”

Levi relaxes minutely. “Noted.” He doesn’t appear to have put his jacket and cloak back on, but Eren can feel the rough, damp-cold cotton of Levi’s shirt against his bare nipples. Levi is shivering.

Tentatively, Eren curls his arms around him. He tries to do it in a professional manner. He’s back to furiously telling his groin to _shut up_ and _why didn’t I put my shirt on damn it,_ but he’s not really complaining either. Levi’s hair is slightly damp and ticklish against Eren’s shoulder.

They are silent for a long time. Eren stares at the nothingness, hopes his heartbeat isn’t too wildly noticeable. It would be so inappropriate to get a hard on right now. Don’t, don’t, don’t…

Levi sighs, long and weary. “This is going to get very boring, very quickly.”

Eren disagrees, frankly, with Levi snuggled in his arms like this, which is a significant chunk of his daydreams coming true all at once. Instead he offers the first thing that pops into his head. “We could play a game?”

A brief pause, then— “A game.” Levi sounds unimpressed.

“Yes,” Eren says. “Why not?”

“Oh, alright then. I’ll bite. Exactly what sort of game do you have in mind, Eren?”

“Um…” It’s not often that inspiration strikes Eren, but occasionally it does. “So, I spy with my little eye—” he begins.

To his utter delight, Levi lets out a bark of laughter. It echoes through the cavern. It’s enchanting. “Brat,” Levi mutters.

Eren cannot keep from smiling into Levi’s hair.

 

Some hours later – he thinks they both dozed off again in their shared exhaustion – Eren is idly rifling through memories to pass the time, sorting out which ones are his and which are not, something he has to do these days. He isn’t even sure Levi is awake. His breathing is deep and even.

But then Levi says, “Eren, about before. I owe you an apology.”

Eren stills. Levi’s scent rises up his nose, musty from the lake but still with the lingering tang of whatever soap he had used that morning, or yesterday morning, or whatever day it is now.

It’s disturbingly easy to lose track of time without sunlight.

It makes him think of the life Levi must have led before he joined the Survey Corps. Eren is confused, and ashamed, to find he has never really considered it until now. For all he admires the man – and he is astute enough at eighteen to recognise that his feelings have evolved into something much more complex than hero-worship – he cannot quite fathom how he’s never thought about the Captain’s past before. Not properly. It’s such a big part of him, too. Yet Levi seems to have left it behind so wholly, and maybe that is why Eren hasn’t considered it before. Except now, in this cavern, Eren is realising that it hasn’t been left behind at all. Just tempered.

“I… know what it’s like to feel trapped, sir,” Eren offers, tentatively. When Levi doesn’t say anything, he steels himself to continue. “Maybe not underground, but I know what it’s like to want something so much it feels like you can’t breathe with it. And… even when you get a taste of it, you have to live with knowing that it can be taken away from you at any moment.” _You can be snatched and eaten in the middle of a fight. You can be snatched and saved when you thought it was finally over._ “I guess it’s difficult to accept sometimes that we are more likely to die than live the rest of our lives with the thing we want most.”

After a pause, Levi asks, “Oh, and what is that?”

Eren shrugs. “Freedom, sir.” It’s obvious, isn’t it?

“Freedom?”

“Yes.”

Levi makes a non-committal noise.

Eren is mildly offended. “You don’t believe me?”

Strong shoulders shrug beneath his arms. Eren listens to the slow, steady rhythm of Levi’s breathing. He’s pleased to feel Levi’s body warming against him.

It seems as if Levi won’t answer him, but eventually he says, “Will you even know freedom when you have it, Eren?”

“Um, yes?” Eren replies, confused to receive such a question from Levi, of all people.

“How?”

Eren tries very hard to get his thoughts across as articulately as he can. “Well, freedom is… making a choice. Freedom is _having_ a choice. For ourselves. Captain, why do we fight, if not for that?”

Eren can feel the cool dampness of the stala-whatevers against his back, kind of knobbly but not unpleasant against his heated skin compared to the sharp rocks.

Levi says, “You sound pretty fucking certain.”

Eren shrugs. “I guess I am.” He’d always thought Levi was too. If there is one person Eren is sure fights for the same reason he does, it’s Captain Levi. He doesn’t understand where Levi’s question is coming from.

Levi says, “But what if all our fighting just leads to more shitty choices?”

“You mean, like, what if it’s all an illusion?”

“Yeah. What if it never _ends_ , Eren?”

Eren thinks about this. The quiet lapping of the underground lake forms a backdrop to his thoughts. “Maybe it is all an illusion,” he concedes at last. “But we’ll never know if we just accept it. If we don’t keep fighting, then we’ll never learn about the things we don’t know.” He feels himself blush, not that it matters. “Then we will be stuck in the illusion forever. We’ll never be able to choose for ourselves because we’ll be… surrendering.” _As easy as closing your eyes and letting a titan take you_.

Levi murmurs, “Sometimes I wonder if he knew.” He stops and is silent for a while. Then he says, “Truthfully, Eren, I’m not entirely sure I’ve given much of a fuck about freedom since Shiganshina.”

Eren blinks into the gloom. _Oh_ , he thinks. He is profoundly aware that he has just been offered – pretty casually, on Levi’s part – something precious. Something that he cannot risk breaking further, but should try to piece back together instead.

He takes a long time formulating a reply. Tries to channel Armin, who would be so much better at this. In the end he can only say what he thinks. “I guess, sir, sometimes it’s just easier to think about freedom as something real. Like an ocean. Or the sky.”

Levi hums in response.

Eren finds himself warming to the topic. “But I think freedom is being free to choose things like oceans and skies. And until we have it, we’re going to run the risk that fighting for freedom will force us to abandon the things we thought we knew.” Eren gesticulates into the darkness. “It’s going to say – your ocean, or your sky, or… your basement, those things are not freedom at all. So you still don’t know. And you need to choose – stay in the illusion, or abandon it and keep fighting. And, well, maybe it’s easier for people to handle this choice if they tell themselves it was a shitty choice either way.” He takes a deep breath. “But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right one. If freedom is what we want.” _We still want the same thing, Levi. We always have._

After a long pause, Levi says, “When did you get all smart, brat?”

Eren shrugs one shoulder, because he doesn’t have a reply for that. _You taught me?_

He hears Levi take a deep breath and then… he moves closer, folding himself into the curl of Eren’s body. Eren doesn’t move. He’s not sure the Captain is aware of what he’s doing, and he doesn’t want to take liberties. He probably is just cold. He did nearly drown in a frigid underground lake, after all.

Then there is soft hair against his bicep, the subtle pressure of a head resting there. Eren tries not to squeak. He’s not going to argue if Levi wants to snuggle, even if it means he’ll have to come up with a subtle way of shifting his crotch further from Levi’s backside if this continues.

“Do you still have hope, Eren?” Levi asks quietly.

Seeing Levi’s strength never fails to replenish Eren’s hope. And perhaps the reverse is true sometimes, as well. “Always,” Eren promises. _I’m sorry I felt relief. It won’t happen again._ “Thank you, Captain. For saving my life.”

In the inky black, he feels the fleeting touch of fingers on his forearm. “And thank you for saving mine.”

Eren’s heart flutters. It feels like the conversation is over now, as quickly as it had begun. So maybe it’s sympathy or relief or insanity or something, because he has no real clue what possesses him to do what he does next.

He turns his head… and kisses Levi’s cheek.

He’s doing it before he even has a chance to think _wait what? Eren what?!_

His lips are pressed to the softness of Levi’s cheek – _fuckitssosoft_ – and he’s kissing Levi and his brain goes into meltdown and _whatwhatwhat Eren what are you doing?!_

Levi goes absolutely still in his arms.

Eren comes to his senses in a rush, jerks back his head in horror— and slams it into the stala-thing behind with a loud _clunk_. “Fuck! _Ow_.”

 _Smooth, Eren_.

He’s still trying to blink away the flashing stars when Levi says, “Eren, did you just kiss my damn cheek?”

“I… no?” he ventures.

“Eren, what on—”

“Okay, yes!” he says. “Yes, I did, and yes, I know. I’m sorry, Captain. I’m so sorry. That was completely inappropriate. It won’t happen again. You have my word.”

He is met with silence.

_Ugh._

Eren has had a lot of humiliating moments in his life, if he stops to think about it, but this one is going to be way up there. He’d genuinely thought, at eighteen, that he’d gotten a hold of his silly crush on the Captain. It is obvious Levi will never be interested in him in that way, he’s never seen Levi express interest in anyone at all, except maybe Commander Erwin, and if that was the case then Eren’s chances are definitely down to nil. Not just because of Shiganshina, though that couldn’t have helped, but the old Commander had been so handsome _._ And collected. Nothing like Eren at all. So, yes, while in the depths of night he does still think about the Captain when he wraps his hand around himself, he has learned to stop being a blushing, stuttering idiot in his presence most of the time.

Except now he’s kissed the Captain’s cheek and he is pretty sure he is back to square one.

He barely registers it when Levi says, “Well.”

Levi’s fingers grasp his wrist. He picks up Eren’s arm. Eren feels the damp, cool press of lips against his knuckles, and then a soft wet sound as they are removed.

He can’t breathe. _What?!_

“There,” Levi says, and drops his arm. “Now we’re even.”

_He just kissed my hand!_

Eren is completely flummoxed.

Is this…? What _was_ that? Levi is a confusing man, even at the best of times, but Eren likes to think he and the Captain have developed an understanding over the years. A friendship, even. He values Levi greatly, and he doesn’t care about the weird cleaning thing or the shit jokes or the grouchiness, because it’s all just… Levi. Whom he adores. Whom Eren wants to care for, despite Levi being the strongest person he’s ever known. And he knows Levi cares about him too. Maybe not in the way Eren had hoped, once, but he only has to remember that it was Levi who swooped down and rescued him from his titan escapade, Levi who’d gotten to him first, to know that he cares. But in this situation, Eren has no idea what to do. Is Levi toying with him? Was that an inept attempt to lighten the mood? More? No, it couldn’t be… more.

His heart skitters wildly. In this pitch black nightmare, he’s almost certain Levi must hear or feel it, thumping insistently at his back.

Eren tenses when Levi huffs in his arms.

“For fuck’s sake, Eren.” He sounds annoyed. “Do you need a written invitation or something?”

Eren’s skittering heart kind of… stops. “Wh-what?”

“How hard did you hit your head?”

“I—” Eren casts about frantically. _Is this really…?_ _Does he really mean…?_ “Yes,” he says at last. “Yeah, I think I need an invitation. I’m confused, Captain.”

“I just fucking kissed you!”

Eren swallows. “That wasn’t some kind of joke?”

“Why would I _joke_ about that, Eren?”

Eren is in despair. “I don’t know! I have no idea what I’m doing, Captain!” _Can’t you see how much I don’t know what I’m doing?!_ Well, actually, no… Levi can’t see. Neither of them can.

Levi grumbles, then the warm body in his arms moves away. Eren is about to cry out in frustration before he notices that Levi is just turning around. If there was any light, they would be able to see each other’s eyes, and maybe all this would be so much easier.

Eren feels two fists come to rest very firmly on his knees. “Well,” Levi says. “You could start by not calling me _Captain_ , you idiot.”

Eren swallows around the dryness in his throat. “Do you really—” He stops. He can sense Levi’s frustration with him, and frankly Eren is frustrated too. _Get a grip_ , he tells himself. _It’s just Levi._

So he moves, shuffles until he’s kneeling back on his ankles. Levi’s hands don’t let go, and they end up on his thighs. It’s almost soothing.

Levi had kissed him. Levi had kissed his hand! And he’s right, Eren thinks. That’s not something that happens between an officer and their subordinate. It’s not even something that happens between friends. Not the way Levi had done it anyway, all damp and strangely tender. Eren raises the hand Levi kissed and peers in its general direction. Wriggles his fingers and thinks… _be brave._

Because maybe Levi has already been brave enough for one near-death experience, all things considered.

Eren takes a deep breath and reaches out. His fingers find clumps of Levi’s hair. It feels tangled and knotted after their dunk in the underground lake. He gently, gently inches his fingertips down, drifting over Levi’s facial features until they find his lips.

Levi stays completely still, seemingly content to let Eren explore.

“Is… is this what you want?” Eren whispers, tracing the shape of Levi’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, subtly ensuring he can actually find those lips in the pitch black if— he can’t quite believe this is happening.

Levi’s bottom lip brushes against his thumb as he says, “Why don’t you find out?”

 _Alright_ , Eren thinks.

Haltingly, in the darkness, he leans forward and presses his lips against Levi’s. They are cool and cracked. Levi remains very still, his hands resting calmly on Eren’s thighs.

Eren’s heart attempts some kind of backflip. _I’m kissing Levi! Ahhh!_

Now he has actually located Levi’s lips, he tentatively places his hands on Levi’s shoulders, then does it again. The softest of touches, just a fleeting whisper of lips against lips.

Levi still doesn’t move. It’s… a bit unsettling.

So Eren withdraws, swallows, and then licks his lips. He has another go. This time he presses a little further, a little firmer, his now-damp lips moving easier over Levi’s. He thinks – beneath his palms – he feels the tiniest whisper of a shiver.

Eren summons his courage and runs the tip of his tongue along Levi’s bottom lip. It’s something he’s wanted to do for years _._

Now he definitely feels the shiver that runs through Levi’s body. But he still isn’t moving.

Eren begins to question himself. _Am I doing this wrong?_ he wonders. He pulls back, wondering what on earth is going on. His breathing and his heart beat are stupidly unsteady, even from this, just a few tentative almost-kisses. Why isn’t he kissing back? It’s almost as if he is waiting? _For what?_

Levi had asked Eren to find out. To find out if this was what he wanted.

Eren thinks maybe he gets it. He’s tempted to roll his eyes but instead he declares in his head _Alright, Captain. Challenge accepted._

So he licks his lips again, and this time when Eren brushes them across Levi’s, he doesn’t stop there. He begins to place light little kisses. One at the corner of Levi’s lips, his tongue licking over slightly dry skin. One to his temple where it’s soft and delicate. One on his cheek just for self-sacrificial amusement. One beneath his ear where Eren knows Levi will hear his unsteady breaths. Kiss, and then kiss, and then kiss, and then kiss. One on the column of Levi’s neck, Eren’s long hair brushing over warm skin, his lips and tongue damp and exploring—

Levi draws in a shaky breath.

Eren smiles into the crook of Levi’s neck, his confidence becoming a groundswell beneath Levi’s still waters. This is a fun game. He hopes Levi will pretend to be a statue a little while longer.

He reaches up a finger, places it under the sharp line of Levi’s jaw to ease his head back. There is no resistance. Eren drags his lips up Levi’s exposed throat. Laps wetly where he feels the subtle flutter of Levi’s pulse, tastes skin and salt.

“Fuck,” Levi mutters.

Eren shuffles on his knees, moves closer so Levi’s thighs are forced to part, thinks _go on then, kiss me back._ Levi is breathing quickly now.

Eren finds the tell-tale ridged flesh of a scar on the other side of Levi’s throat. Traces it with the tip of his tongue. Feels Levi swallow against his lips.

He moves to Levi’s earlobe. Worries it a little between his teeth. Kisses the wetness afterwards, soft and sure. _I love these ears. So cute._ Levi’s fingertips flex against his thighs. Eren’s erection is painfully hard.

This, here in the damp mustiness of an underground cavern, is the sexiest experience of his life.

Eren is breathing fast as he flutters his lips back over Levi’s cheek, kissing and licking his way gently to Levi’s mouth. When he reaches it, he forces himself to stay still, although his whole body is aching with want. Eren _wants._ Long seconds pass.

Levi shudders.

“Please Levi,” Eren whispers, at last. “ _Please_ _kiss_ —”

Levi comes _alive_ in Eren’s arms. Suddenly his hands are everywhere, in Eren’s hair, grabbing his ass, anything to drag him closer. Eren gasps as he is yanked forward with such force they nearly topple over, and then Levi’s mouth is all over his, licking and biting and sucking and Levi is moaning _._

“Eren, Eren,” he says between kisses.

Fuck, Eren is more than happy to give him what he wants.

He lurches forward, not quite sure who is attempting to pull who into the other’s arms, and does his best to keep up with the sudden frantic pace, moving his tongue against Levi’s, his teeth and lips against Levi’s, their noses bumping haphazardly. His hands find the velvety softness of Levi’s undercut and he tugs him close. He thinks the pounding of their hearts must be echoing through the cavern. Levi tastes of musk and damp, and Eren does too, and he doesn’t care because it’s warm and wet and beautiful.

Eren’s whole body jerks when he feels his erection nudge into Levi’s… whatever. Thigh, maybe. They’re too tangled now to work it out. “Levi!” he gasps.

Levi moans _again_.

Eren forces himself to break the mind-numbing kiss, panting and overwhelmed and fucking in love. He licks his mouth. It tastes of Levi. He feels as though he is melting. They are both breathing heavily, holding tight, a mess of limbs and spit and aching. This is so… sudden. Eren had never expected this. “Why now?” he whispers in a daze.

Levi sounds just as dazed when he mutters, “Can _you_ think of anything better to do right now?”

Eren is about to lean back in when he registers the words and… their meaning.

Wait, what?

He rears back as a shard of pain stabs through his heart. He flushes in mortification. That’s all this is to Levi? Some kind of game? A way to pass the time? “Um.”

“Um, what?” Levi murmurs, sounding distracted.

“I… er…” Eren shakes his head, still hurting. It hurts! “Actually,” he says carefully, trying to keep his voice steady and failing miserably. “I think maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all. Captain.”

Levi is silent, so Eren begins the painful process of disentangling his limbs from Levi’s, and disentangling the mess of his heart. He has to. He can’t, he can’t— he knew this was too good to be true.

“Eren, what’s wrong?”

_Please don’t say anything, sir._

“Eren, wait. Eren, stop!” Levi orders.

Long years of respect are all that keep him from ripping himself from the embrace and… diving back into the freezing lake, or something. Eren feels humiliated, and young, and stupid.

“Tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?”

“Nothing, sir,” Eren mutters. “You were just honest. That’s all.”

Levi doesn’t reply, but a very firm – almost bruising – grip on his biceps keeps Eren from running away. He wants to though. When they get out of this cave, this is all going to be so humiliating. Why can’t Eren just be normal? People have meaningless sex all the time! Headquarters is positively steaming with scouts hooking up sometimes, especially before an expedition. Why can’t he just do that? What’s wrong with him? And why, why, _why_ did his stupid heart fixate on the one person who is patently not emotionally available? He wants to crack his head against the rocks. Even unconsciousness would be preferable to—

“Hey Eren,” Levi says. “You are such an idiot sometimes.”

And now Eren is back to confused. “Huh?”

“Eren, for goodness’ sake. I didn’t mean what I said. About having nothing else to do. Not like that. Surely you must know that?” Levi punctuates his words by giving Eren’s shoulders a hard shake. “As if I’d treat you like that, Eren. Fuck I’m so bad at this shit. Eren, don’t— don’t ever think that you don’t mean anything to me.”

“I do?”

“Eren!” Levi’s voice cracks on Eren’s name. He actually sounds upset. “When I saw you run off and those fuckers go after you I could hardly—” He stops, sucks in an unsteady breath. “Shit, don’t ever do that me again! Stay where I can protect you!”

 _Oh_ , Eren thinks. _Oh._

“Levi,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

“Fucking hell, Eren!”

They both fall quiet. The silence feels tense, and Eren feels stressed. But he also feels as though a shaft of watery morning sunlight has broken through his previously shadowed mind, shining into cracks and crevices he was hitherto unaware of the existence of. And to think he had closed his eyes in a titan’s grasp and felt relief. Eren is almost disgusted. He has no doubt Levi would be too. Levi is right. He _is_ an idiot.

“When I couldn’t hear you after we fell in the water—” Eren swallows whatever he was about to say. He’s not entirely sure what he wants to say. That he understands? That means contemplating the strange notion that Levi feels the same things Eren feels, and that’s all a bit too much. Now the mental rope Eren has tied around his feelings these last few years is unravelling, they are almost beyond articulating, unless he resorts to terrifying words like _passion_ and _love_ and _never leave me_.

Levi’s tight grip on his biceps loosens a fraction.

“I…” Eren shakes his head into the dark. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats.

Levi huffs. “Well. Thanks for killing the mood, Eren,” he mutters.

“Ugh,” Eren says. His head droops and lands on something. An arm, maybe. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

“Sor—” Eren clamps his lips shut.

Levi sighs and pulls away. Eren could cry, but Levi surprises him by simply settling into their former position. He presses his spine against Eren’s chest and tugs Eren’s arms back around himself. Eren’s body heat has dried Levi’s shirt out now, and it tickles his skin.

Levi blows out a breath and nudges his head under Eren’s jaw, so Eren obliges and rests his chin atop the crown of Levi’s head.  The comforting scent of Levi’s hair, that subtle tangy soap, fills Eren’s nose again. It’s kind of nice. Warm and intimate. Reassuring.

“For what it’s worth,” Levi says. “I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing here either.”

“What, like, at all?” Eren blinks into the blackness.

“Not really.”

“Oh.” Eren frowns. “But that kiss was so…”

“Messy?” Levi suggests.

“I was going to say sexy.”

“Oh, you were, were you?”

Eren’s frown deepens as he tries to slot all the pieces of Levi into place, unfamiliar new notions overlaying the comfortable older ones. “But you… have experience, right? You’re not… not a…” Eren isn’t quite sure how to say it without sounding impertinent. The lines are all over the place, and he has no idea which ones he’s allowed to cross.

“Relax,” Levi says. “Don’t give yourself a headache. No, I’m not a virgin. I’m thirty seven for crying out loud. But it’s been a long damn time and I don’t exactly think of you as a quick fuck in a back alley, whatever your idiot brain may think and despite our current surroundings.”

Eren feels his smile getting wider as he digests each and every one of those words.

“Finally figuring it out, brat?”

Eren grins into Levi’s hair. “Maybe.”

“I need a piss,” Levi says. “Off, get off.” He shunts Eren’s arms out of the way and then disappears to the other side of the island with a lot of muttered curses and the occasional stumble.

Eren is left with heated cheeks and a fluttering heart.

He assumes they must have hit the limit of Levi’s ability to discuss his own feelings, or Levi is having to do hand-to-hand combat with his morals or something. He takes a long time to come back. Eren doesn’t mind, but time isn’t on his side, and Levi can get stuffed if he’s about to bring up Eren’s age. He’d had another birthday a few weeks ago, though Eren hadn’t exactly felt like making a song and dance about turning eighteen. How could he? He’d merely watched the clock tick over at midnight, thought _five more years_ , and then rolled over and attempted to get some dream-free sleep. Perhaps, if he could see into his own future instead of other people’s pasts, he might have been a little more excited about getting older. Or a lot more excited.

When Levi returns and settles inside Eren’s arms again as if he belongs there, Eren has been preparing a little feelings talk of his own.

As he hugs Levi close, he says, “You know I’m crazy about you, right Levi?”

“Maybe you’re just crazy, Eren.”

“Hm. Maybe. About _you._ ”

Levi snorts and relaxes further against Eren’s chest. “You’re a moron.” But he doesn’t sound like he means it.

“Are you done freaking out now? Can we go back to kissing?” Eren asks.

He feels Levi tilt his head back. “Sure.”

 

Eren loves kissing Levi. He always knew he would, but reality is considerably better than his feverish imagination in the depths of the night.

So it isn’t until Levi puts his hand on top of Eren’s and begins inching it down the inside of his thigh that Eren fully realises this is going to go beyond kissing. He pulls away, mouth damp with spit, and mumbles, “Levi…”

The hand pauses. “Do you want me to stop? We can stop.”

“No, don’t stop!” Eren says. “I want to. I _want_ to. I’m just not sure what I’m, uh, doing.”

“It’s alright, Eren.” Then Levi – somewhat unexpectedly – rolls his ass back into Eren’s groin. Eren groans at the sudden pressure against his erection. “Just tell me what feels good.”

“This,” Eren mutters, as Levi moves his hips again. Even with the fabric of two pairs of trousers between them it feels amazing. _Why did we get dressed again?_ “This feels – ahh. This feels good.”

“Mm,” Levi agrees.

Eren nudges Levi’s head gently with his own so he can rest his chin on Levi’s shoulder. He can’t see a thing but he can certainly imagine. Levi’s muscular legs spread out, resting inside Eren’s own, Levi’s crotch wide open and Eren’s hand soon to be cupping it… fuck. Eren whimpers _._

A brush of bangs and the tip of a nose against his cheek and… is Levi nuzzling him? Eren feels himself blush hotter than his own titan. He bites down on a stupid grin, and then remembers that Levi can’t see him, and smiles like an idiot.

Levi says, “You can touch me Eren. I want you to.”

Well, fuck. Eren whimpers _again_. Is it possible to come from the sound of someone’s voice? He’s getting a little worried about embarrassing himself.

He expects Levi to keep moving their hands downwards, but instead Levi’s fingers thread under his own to lift his hand up.

He feels warm lips. Damp kisses over his knuckles. Levi turns Eren’s hand over and kisses the inside of his wrist, then the juncture between his thumb and forefinger. He lingers there over the sensitive skin. Licks once, then kisses wetly, and again, all over Eren’s thumb, almost passionately, and honestly it’s kind of weird and kind of thrilling and makes Eren want to squirm.

Eren realises Levi is kissing – deeply and thoroughly – the part of his hand he bites for transformations. It sends a hot wave of lust down Eren’s abdomen and into his cock. “Levi,” he says.

Levi pauses. “Touch me, Eren.” He sounds a little breathless. Then he continues his ministrations to Eren’s thumb, bathing it with hot saliva.

Eren’s left hand is free so he wastes no further time moving to Levi’s crotch. He fiddles with the buttons, then curses because this really isn’t easy with only one hand. Nearly gets a button through— it slips, foiled by the damp material and his sweaty fingertips. “Levi, can I have my hand back?”

“No.”

“What? Ugh, fine.” Eren throws delicacy out of the window and grabs a palm full of Levi’s cock through his trousers.

Levi grunts.

Eren massages through the tight material and – wow – Levi feels really, really hard _._ He hangs left, which is kind of nice because Eren does too. “Are you sure you don’t want me to unbutton you?” Eren asks.

“Ah, shit,” Levi says. His other hand – the free one – slaps down over Eren’s and gives it a rough jostle. “Just touch me, Eren.”

 _I’m trying!_ Eren thinks. _If I could get your damn pants undone._

Then Levi pushes their joined hands against his groin and does that thing with his ass again, rolling it back against Eren’s erection. “Like this,” he says.

_Fuck._

Eren has cooked up a lot of debauched scenarios involving Levi in his fantasies over the years. A few of them even involve sex outdoors. Usually with Levi bent over a tree. Trees are intimately connected with the curves of Levi’s backside in Eren’s imagination and he’s not entirely sure why. But his nightly repertoire mostly involves clean sheets and candlelit rooms and possibly having to do laundry afterwards because he might be a teenager but he’s not stupid _._

Grinding like horny cadets in the pitch black of an underground cave while they’re both damp and dirty and exhausted is about the furthest thing from Eren’s fantasies imaginable. If he’d told Armin – and it’s Armin he tells, because he has to tell _someone_ – he would have said, “ _Are you insane, Eren?”_

Maybe he is insane. He’s never quite sure these days. Maybe this is all a dream. But at least it’s a good one. _A wet one_ , Eren thinks, amused. _Literally—_

Levi has gone still. “Eren are you fucking laughing?”

Shit. Eren feels himself flush. “Uh… sorry. I’m just happy. Sorry.”

“Happy.” Levi echoes the word like he doesn’t quite know what to do with it. “Would it be too much for you to concentrate, brat?”

“No. Yep. I’m good.”

Levi finally lets his hand go, and his fingers work their way into Eren’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp. “Stay with me.”

Eren melts. “Okay.” He bites his lip and gets to work on the buttons of Levi’s crotch, popping them open with a single tug and yanking down the zip. In his haste Eren manages to knock his temple clumsily against Levi’s head.

Levi lets out a huffy sort of chuckle.

Eren rolls his eyes. “Oh, now who’s—”

“Shut up,” Levi says.

Eren gets Levi’s trousers undone and wriggles his hand down to free Levi’s erection. It’s not an elegant process, that’s for sure, because the material is tight and he’s being careful not to jab Levi’s balls and this utter oily black is so fucking unfair. The first time Eren gets to play with Levi’s cock and he can’t even see it! Levi seems disinclined to let Eren pull his trousers down, which Eren can’t really grumble about, because no one wants to sit on damp rocks with a bare ass.

Eren does his best anyway. Levi’s cock is hard and firm, the foreskin velvety soft. He scratches his fingertips through pubic curls, gently traces the curve of Levi’s drawn up balls. He circles the swollen head and rubs his thumb softly over a leaking slit. Levi leans his head back on Eren’s shoulder. “Should’ve known you’d be a tease,” he mutters.

“Should’ve known you’d be gorgeous,” Eren says back.

Levi huffs.

Then he wraps his own hand over Eren’s, nudges it towards his cock, says, “Come on, Eren. Maybe you don’t realise quite how long I’ve been waiting.”

Eren swallows. His heartbeat starts to pick up, his erection twitches in his pants. The notion of Levi waiting for him… Eren wants to demand why he waited so long but he doesn’t want to spoil the mood again either. Sex stuff now, answers later.

“Okay,” he says, and curls his hand around Levi’s erection.

Eren works Levi’s cock, the velvety foreskin sliding easily beneath Eren’s palm. For all that Levi had forced the issue, he’s letting Eren set the pace, letting Eren choose. Eren smooths his thumb over the swollen head again, through slippery precome, and Levi’s hand falls away.

It’s so strange, not being able to see. Levi’s breathing in Eren’s ear is fucking erotic, all low and stuttered and straining. The ripple and twitch of muscles against his heated skin makes Eren feel feverish, the scent of Levi’s arousal makes his head swim. He licks to taste the faint salt of sweat on Levi’s neck, twists his hand at the same time.

Levi gasps. “Fuck!”

Levi uses Eren’s legs for purchase as he grinds against him, his backside rubbing into Eren’s trapped cock. Eren’s lips clamp down on Levi’s neck, sucking and licking.

It’s like something in the unseeing shadow makes this okay, removes whatever shyness they might feel if they were back at headquarters.

He lifts his head. “Does this feel okay?”

“Yes, damn it, yes,” Levi says. “Keep going.”

Eren tightens his grip. Levi’s fingernails pinch into his thighs. The head of Levi’s cock is leaking freely. Eren coats his palm with it as he moves his hand up and down Levi’s length, long firm strokes from base to tip, a subtle twist at the end. It’s what he likes doing to himself, so he hopes Levi will like it too.

“Fuck Eren,” Levi says. “You don’t – _ah!_ You have no idea how often I’ve imagined this.”

Eren’s voice goes kind of squeaky. “Really?!”

“Mm. No idea.”

“Me too,” he says.

“I know,” Levi whispers. “I could see it in your eyes.”

Eren’s own erection is getting pretty uncomfortable at this stage. He’s contemplating asking Levi if he can, well, return the favour or something. Or at least stop grinding long enough so Eren can free himself to prevent chafing. But Levi is gasping every time Eren gives his cock a squeeze and Eren doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to stop either.

He throws his head back – it bumps the stala-whatever – and whines.

Levi pauses, panting heavily. “I told you to tell me what feels good, Eren.”

“I—”

“Don’t make me guess.”

“Can we take our pants off?” Eren says in a rush.

“Yes.”

They scoot apart to shuck their own clothing. The rocks by the stala-thing are damp and cold but smooth enough. Naked once more, Eren leans back against it, wedges himself into a comfortable position. Levi shuffles back over him, face-to-face this time and shivering a little. He says, “Sorry this is happening… here. It’s probably filthy.”

Eren fumbles for Levi’s ass, palms his taut curves, and then guides him forwards. “I don’t mind. Mostly I’m just happy that it’s happening.”

“Indeed.”

Levi’s knees squeeze his thighs, and when their groins are finally pressed together, they both make slightly embarrassing noises. Levi shakes his head. His forehead bumps Eren’s gently, and his hair brushes against Eren’s cheek. Then he reaches down between them and takes both of their erections in hand.

“Levi,” Eren murmurs, squirming.

“My fingers are cold, Eren.”

Eren takes the hint and moves his palm over Levi’s hand, stretching around both their cocks. The back of Levi’s hand is soft and taut, his fingers slim and elegant compared to Eren’s. They fit nicely.

“Yes, like that,” Levi says.

They begin stroking, their hands and their cocks and… _fuck_. Eren leans his forehead on Levi’s shoulder. His brain feels like it’s about to explode with a combination of warm pleasure and nervous lust and his younger self is screaming _no fucking way!_ at him from the depths of his subconscious. It’s amazing.

“Shit, that’s good,” Levi says. He rocks forward, hips swaying in time with their hands. Eren tries to mimic his movements, but it’s kind of awkward supporting both of their weights on the hard rock. So he stays still and uses his free hand on Levi’s ass to encourage the slow sway of his hips. He likes the thought of Levi writhing atop him. He wishes he could see it.

Eren’s cock is throbbing. “I’m not going to last much longer.”

“Tch. As if I will,” Levi mutters.

He squeezes their cocks harder and Eren clamps his lips over Levi’s neck again, suckling to hide the noises he’d otherwise be making. _Fuck, fuck, Levi is riding me_.

Runs out of air and tears his lips away. “I can’t wait to fuck you when we get out of here.”

Levi’s unexpectedly loud moan echoes through the cavern and Eren thinks _yes please, Captain._

“Obviously on clean sheets,” Eren adds, focused on the mind-numbing sensation of Levi’s glans rubbing against his own.

Levi surges forward with a choked gasp.

Eren blinks. Then he smirks. “Nice, clean, um, freshly laundered sheets…”

“Eren!” Levi is half laughing, half moaning. His hips tilt clumsily, desperately towards Eren’s. It’s so wet and slippery now, precome leaking freely from both of them.

Levi’s wheezy laugh is all the sunshine Eren could ever ask for. Eren licks Levi’s throat, murmurs against his skin. “Lavender scented, perfectly ironed, uh… dust-free—”

“Stop _,_ stop _,_ you fucking idiot,” Levi begs. He sounds a bit like Eren feels, a sweaty mess of amused, hopelessly turned on, and mortified. Eren will cherish each and every one of the secrets he is learning about Levi in the dark; his throat is a thing and Eren is never going to look at the cravats the same way again, he likes physical closeness but he doesn’t know how to ask, cleanliness is maybe a bizarre turn on and will tidying up get Eren laid in future…?

 _You weird, wonderful little man,_ Eren thinks. _I’m so in love with you._

Their hips are grinding hard now, Eren thrusting upwards. His ass will be grazed raw and bloody on the rocks, but fuck it, sometimes being a titan has its advantages. Not least because in some ways the oily dark feels familiar; he’s used to having his senses disrupted. The sharpness of hearing and taste and touch and smell in the absence of sight is not all that dissimilar to experiencing the landscape through the senses of a fifteen metre rampaging titan. Eren has long learned to stop relying on one way of sensing the world and trust.

“Afterwards,” Eren whispers, heart racing, “I’ll soap you up in the showers. Get you all—”

“ _Damn it!_ ” Eren feels Levi’s hair brush against his shoulder, the stubble of his undercut against his cheek. He turns to Eren’s ear with a soft breath and orders, “Come on me, brat. I want you to come on me. Now.”

That’s all it takes. Eren’s head snaps back and he whimpers as he begins to spurt all over Levi’s cock. His orgasm pulses through him and his heart feels like it’s about to explode with _Levi, Levi_ … He squeezes tight and milks himself, giving Levi what he wants. His cock pulsates and his whole body quivers with it. It feels like a claiming. “Levi,” he gasps out. “Levi!” It’s the best thing he’s ever felt.

“Yes, Eren. Like that. Fuck, you’re coming all over me, I can feel it. _Fuck yes._ ” Levi shudders in Eren’s arms. More splashes of semen spill out over their joined hands. They are coming together and making a big mess and Eren thinks his heart might explode.

By the time their hands stop and Levi’s hips slow, Eren’s inner thighs feel rather obscene.

He closes his eyes against Levi’s shoulder and tries to catch his breath.

 

After a few minutes of rest in which they lean into each other’s embrace, touching gently and breathing each other in, Levi shuffles off Eren’s lap. Eren hears him grab his trousers, then the slap of footsteps on the rocks, and then splashing water. Eren kind of wants to go to sleep, but he’ll likely get a reprimand if he doesn’t join Levi.

Eren makes his way down to the water and does his best to wash the stickiness from his cock and thighs. Without soap it doesn’t work very well, but Eren doesn’t care much. Distantly, in the back of his mind, he likes being covered in Levi. In his scent.

He’s beginning to wonder if he should break the silence before it gets awkward, but Levi does it for him. “To answer your earlier question.” _Splash splash splash._ “About why now.”

“You don’t have to,” Eren says quickly.

“I realise that.” The splashing continues, even as Eren is already tugging his trousers back on and wondering where his shirt and jacket and boots got to. “Frankly, Eren,” Levi continues, “I didn’t think I’d have to be the one to make the first move.”

“But—”

“Yes, I know what you’re going to say.” The sound of Levi washing himself finally stops, leaving watery ripples in its wake. “It occurs to me that I have not been quite as obvious about my feelings as I assumed I was being.”

Eren blinks into the impenetrable shadows. “You thought you were being _obvious?_ ”

Levi’s response is a long-suffering sigh. Eren listens as Levi’s footsteps retreat, back towards the smooth, slippery rock structure in the middle of the island. There is the sound of material rustling and leather squeaking. Levi is getting dressed.

Eren is mildly disappointed by this, though he supposes he should be doing the same. They are not relaxing in a bed back at headquarters, no matter how much he’d like to be. They are somewhere beneath the northern mountains of Paradis, trapped in a cold underground cavern, and for all they know they could be here for quite some time.

Eren locates the rest of his clothes. He trips his way back over to the centre of the island, and so he can locate Levi discreetly, he says, “Well, okay then. So why now?”

Levi sighs, and Eren adjusts course. “I don’t know,” he replies. “You’re older. I was tired of waiting. You weren’t wearing a shirt. Take your pick, I suppose.”

Eren pulls his boots on, then sets about buttoning up his shirt. “How long have you been waiting?”

Levi is quiet for a long time. So quiet that Eren gets bored of standing and sits down, shuffling sideways so their bodies are pressed together shoulder to thigh. Eren winces as the tender grazes on his ass rub against the material of his underwear. Levi is back in his uniform, cloak and all. He doesn’t seem to have any objections to the sitting arrangement, and Eren wonders if it would be appropriate to take his hand or not. He likes touching Levi’s hand. He’s about to reach out his fingers, maybe see if he can find Levi’s—

“Fuck it,” Levi says. “Do you remember when we first found the ocean? And the next morning you, Jean, Sasha, and Connie for some unknown fucking reason decided to have a swimming race?”

“Yeeeaah…?”

“I suppose since then.”

Eren frowns. “Why then?”

There is more silence. “Shit, are you expecting some sort of profound answer?” Suddenly Levi’s head drops to Eren’s shoulder, and he feels a hand against his stomach. “You were dripping sea water everywhere and you took your damn shirt off and I just got so fucking hard. I didn’t have a fucking clue what to do. I told Hange I needed a shit and practically ran up the damn beach!”

Eren bursts into laughter. “Wait,” he says, trying not to jostle Levi and failing. “Wait, that’s why you disappeared? We thought you might have seen a titan! We were about to gear up.”

“Oh, perfect.”

“Commander Hange told us to carry on though. They said you were probably just distracted by the view…” Eren trails off, thinking the memory over. “What the hell?”

“That fucking four-eyes.” Levi slaps Eren’s stomach. “See!”

“Well it wasn’t obvious to me _._ ”

“Clearly.”

Eren is still struggling not to laugh. The thought of Levi getting some kind of awkward erection on the beach because Eren took his shirt off is… wow. If only he’d known sooner!

“So was I, uh, obvious?” Eren asks.

Levi snorts inelegantly. “On occasion. Gave me a fucking headache.”

Eren risks putting his arm around Levi’s shoulders. He is thrilled when Levi allows it and even cuddles closer, slotting himself into the crook of Eren’s arm like he belongs there once again. “But how long have you…” Eren pauses. He has to make sure. “It’s not just sex right?”

“It’s not,” Levi says. “Maybe it’s been creeping up on me for a long time. Since we first met. I don’t know. Can we talk about something else, Eren? This is excruciating.”

Eren smiles. “Sure.”

But they don’t talk. Eren listens to Levi’s heartbeat, and thinks about going to sleep again, or maybe giving Levi a blow job, and he wonders if Levi can hear his heartbeat too.

 

Eren has lost complete track of time when Levi sighs, stretches, then says, “Fuck, Eren. I’m hungry.”

“Ugh, me too,” Eren replies emphatically. “Just give me a couple more hours? I don’t want to risk forming half an arm or something and having to wait another day.”

“That’s fine. We should probably sleep anyway. Conserve energy.”

“I guess maybe the sex stuff was a bit stupid? Thinking about it.”

Levi chuckles. “Well, if we can’t find a way out, I promise we’ll go another round before we get too fucking weak and pass out.”

“Mmm. Sounds good.” His fingertips drift to the clasp of Levi’s cloak, fiddling with it idly.

“Oi, stop it.”

“Stop what?” Eren asks innocently.

“You heard me, brat.”

“ _Fine_.”

A loud _boom_ echoes down through the cavern, making them both jump. The sound bounces off unseen crags and crevices. The accompanying plink plink plink of rocks striking water has Eren blinking upwards.

“Hm,” Levi says, considering the sound.

 _Thank fuck!_ Eren thinks. _Please let that be you, Armin._

Another enormous boom shakes the shadows. More rocks begin to fall around them. Eren twists and wraps his arms tight around the man beside him. “I guess now will have to do. Hold still,” he instructs.

Levi sighs.

Eren sinks his teeth into his bicep. _PROTECT!_

 

When Eren drags himself free of tough sinew and pulsing muscle with a grunt, he finds himself staring directly into a shaft of falling sunlight, dust motes settling in its wake. He screws his eyes shut against the brightness. _Ow._

He can still hear the sound of falling debris splashing into the underground lake and striking dry rock, and then he hears something that sets his heart alight.

“Ereeeeeeeen! Leeeeviiiiii!”

It’s far overhead, but it rings through the cavern like birdsong. He peers up. High above a hole in the cavern is letting in the sunlight. “Commander!” he shouts as loud as he can, shading his eyes against the light. “Commander Hange! We’re down here!”

He hears a triumphant whoop. “I _knew_ it!”  There’s a brief pause, then— “Hold tight! We’ll be down soon!”

Eren peers around as his eyes grow accustomed to seeing things again. He was right – the cavern is enormous, but he doesn’t have time to stare right now _._ His calves are still buried in the back of his titan, the fibrous white sinew clutching at him. Its shoulders stretch out either side of him – no head – and the beginnings of a torso steam below. It is supported by two enormous muscular arms, much bigger than he usually grows. “Levi?” he asks uncertainly, trying to free his feet. There is no answer. “Crap,” Eren mutters.

He yanks his feet out and tumbles backwards down a shoulder blade, lands with a rough bump on the rocks. For a surprised second he stares at the ground, at the jagged stones of the island which he’s been cursing all along. Are they… sparkling? Eren shakes his head. _Later._ He scrambles up and jogs round to the front of the torso. What the hell kind of titan has his command to protect Levi spawned?

He finds out soon enough. At the ends of the meaty arms and protected beneath the chest are a pair of huge pink skin-covered fists, clasped tightly together as if cupped around something delicate like a butterfly—

A boot kicks out from the inside, snapping a thumb bone backwards _._ Blood splatters. Eren can hear Levi’s voice, muffled from the inside. “Talk” _kick_ “about” _kick_ “fucking” _kick_ “overkill!” _kick._

Maybe a grouchy butterfly.

Eren groans and starts peeling away shards of bone and tendon, trying to bend the enormous and disintegrating thumb backwards to let Levi out.

Working together – Eren pulling and Levi kicking – they make enough of a crawl space for Levi to wriggle free. He does so, muttering to himself, and Eren soaks in the sight of him now he can see again. Coal-black hair falling over his eyes in mussed disarray, survey corps cloak inside out and spattered with steaming titan blood, furious face set in a glare.

Eren tries very, very hard not to smile.

“Fucking hell,” Levi snaps as he finally gets himself up on his feet. He attempts to straighten out his dishevelled uniform.

Eren lets go of the mangled thumb. “Sorry, sir.”

Levi glares up at him, silver-grey eyes murderous. For one terrified moment, Eren wonders if he has dreamed up everything that happened between them in the dark. But then that steely gaze softens, the faint lines around Levi’s lips smooth out.

Eren’s gaze roams over his too-pale skin, the shadows beneath his eyes, his tangled hair, and he feels himself blush.

Right then. Not a dream.

Levi takes a step forward—

The whirr of manoeuvre gear echoes through the cavern. Levi stops and cranes his neck to look at the bright spot of sunshine high above. Half a dozen fluttering green cloaks are gliding down into the depths of the cavern, like insects crisscrossing through the shaft of sunlight. “Well,” Levi says. “Took them long enough, I suppose.”

Mikasa reaches them first, a whirl of red scarf and fluttering black hair. Her grappling hook is still reeling itself back in as she throws her arms around Eren’s shoulders. “Eren!”

He hugs her close. “It’s okay! I’m fine, we’re fine.”

“Don’t you ever run off like that again,” she says into his neck. “What happened?”

“Ugh, long story. But I’m okay. Mikasa, I’m okay.”

She shakes her head, says nothing further, and seems determined to re-break his ribcage. Eren meets Levi’s eyes over Mikasa’s head, and Levi throws him a faint smile. Then Levi notices his cloak is inside out and sets about righting the situation with a scowl.

Commander Hange and Jean land next, Jean pitching up with a wobble on the uneven – and still sparkling – rocks, and Hange tapping delicately onto the exposed spinal column of Eren’s titan. “Wooo!” they say, peering around at the cavern. “What have you found here for me, Levi?”

“A fucking hole in the ground?”

“And what a hole! Look at these things!” Hange is running their hands up and down the stala-whatevers that the evaporating frame of Eren’s titan is now propped against. They reach all the way up to the roof of the cavern and remind Eren of the hardened pillars of the chapel basement he’d been chained up in several years ago, only these are natural. “You both okay?”

“We’re fine.” Levi has his cloak on properly now and frowns at Mikasa’s back. She is still hugging Eren and making him a little short of breath. “Eren broke his ribs,” he declares.

“Oh!” Mikasa lets Eren go.

“I’m okay,” Eren tells them again. He pats his chest to demonstrate. “See, all healed.” He can just about tolerate the fussing of one Ackerman, but certainly not two. He gives Levi a look. He is sorely tempted to mention the near-drowning in retribution, but the sudden narrowing of Levi’s eyes alerts him that he is fully aware of where Eren’s thoughts have strayed and to quit while he’s ahead _._

Eren offers a conciliatory shrug instead. It’s almost luxurious being able to see each other again.

“You’ve got blood all over your face, Jaeger,” Jean says.

“What?!” Eren’s hand flies to his face. He glances at Levi, betrayed. “You couldn’t have told me this earlier?”

“I assumed it was from the transformation,” Levi says. “It’s not?”

Eren spits into his palm and rubs vigorously at his mouth. Everyone is now staring at him. “Uh, I guess maybe my lungs got punctured at some point as well.”

“Fucking hell,” Levi says. He and Mikasa nearly bounce off each other when they both step forward at the same time, and only their innate quick reflexes prevent Eren from bursting into laughter. Mikasa gives Levi a strange look, and Levi gives Mikasa a haughty one.

“It’s even on your nose,” Jean points out.

Eren turns his back and scrubs harder, his fingers coming away a dusky brown. “Typical.”

A hand lands on his shoulder.

“Ugh, I’m fine,” Eren says. “I prioritised them first. No harm done.”

“But I was—” Levi cuts himself off, apparently remembering they have an audience now. “Alright, we’ll discuss this later.”

 _Fat chance,_ Eren thinks.

The conversation goes no further as more scouts begin to flit down around them.

Commander Hange re-ties their chestnut hair, straightens their eye patch, and starts directing a survey of the cavern. Eren is tempted to ask for spare gear so he can join in. The waters of the underground lake shimmer blue-green wherever the sunlight falls, deep and cool and opaquely beautiful. The sharp rocks – so annoying in the darkness – now sparkle as if they are burnished with crystal. The huge stala-structures are a pale amber colour that reminds Eren of fresh honey. He must remember to ask Armin what they are called. There are dozens of little islands, all similar to the one Levi and Eren had stumbled onto. It seems an intriguing place but—

“I need to get out of here,” Levi says. “Kirstein.”

Jean and Mikasa give them both a lift, zig zagging around the rocky structures of the cavern and alighting upon the crumbling ledge where sunshine spills through, casting the broken rocks in shades of soot and ash.

“How long were we missing?” Eren asks out of curiosity, as he clings to an anchored Mikasa and scrambles up the treacherous scree.

“Over a day,” Mikasa tells him. “We found your gear but we couldn’t find you—” She stops. “Sorry, maybe Armin would be better at explaining this.”

Eren squeezes her hand.

 

When they’re back aboveground, blinking into the blinding light of the morning sun, Eren assesses his and Levi’s general condition. It’s embarrassing, frankly. They both look rumpled and pale, as if they’ve just rolled out of bed which... _ugh, stop, you’ll get a hard on again._

Levi’s face is a little scratched up, nothing too serious. In hindsight, the frigid underground lake may well have saved Levi’s life. Then Eren spots the tell-tale purpling bruise of a love bite on Levi’s neck and cringes. Could he look any more shameless right now? Eren doesn’t think so.

This is going to be impossible to hide.

As subtly as he can, he moves in front of Levi and attempts to tug his wrinkled shirt collar up to hide the bruise. _What did I do with his cravat anyway?_ Eren wonders. Perhaps it met a watery end at the bottom of the underground lake.

Levi arches one delicate eyebrow at Eren’s fussing.

“Just, er, straightening you up, Captain.”

“You should see _yourself_ ,” Levi mutters under his breath. Then he actually smirks and bats Eren’s hands away. “Don’t worry about it, Eren. I can handle a few looks. Maybe even questions, if they’re brave enough.”

“Oh.”

“Can you?” Levi’s silver-grey eyes seem curious, and Eren cannot get enough of them.

“Yes,” he says. “I can.”

“Good.”

The ravine is transformed from when Eren last saw it. For a start, there is a disintegrating colossal titan, stripes of blood-red muscle a sharp contrast to the green grass beneath. Armin sits off to the side with Sasha and Connie, sipping from a canteen of water, blond hair shining in the sun. He gives Eren a little wave, and Eren mouths, _“Thank you_.”

The evidence of Eren’s own calamity is further up the ravine, a mass of jumbled bones half-buried under a brown-grey landslide of scree and dirt. He cannot see the titan whose arm they had tried to escape, but evidently it had managed to bring half the ravine down with it. There are scars of dirt and piles of rocks and it is obvious everyone has been digging and excavating for some time. It’s a mess.

“Only you, brat,” Levi murmurs.

Jean and Mikasa take them back towards the safer ground of the lower ravine, where the horses are tethered and wagons have been brought up to prepare food.  Eren sits next to Levi on a boulder and avoids Mikasa’s stare. Levi runs through a sanitised version of their underground ordeal and Jean cracks a couple of suicidal bastard jokes. Sasha appears, informs them Armin and Connie couldn’t resist taking a look at the cavern. Then she brandishes her satchel of medical supplies and says, “Now let me look at that ankle, Captain.”

As one, they turn to stare at Levi. He scowls at Sasha.

“None of you noticed he’s limping?” Sasha plucks out clean bandages and lavender salve. “Come on, sir. Leg up.”

Studiously ignoring Eren’s glare, Levi rolls his eyes and does as instructed. He offers Sasha his leftovers to nibble while she gets to work.

The sun is warm on Eren’s shoulders. He lies back on the boulder and soaks it up.

 

Before midday Commander Hange and the others return. Eren is as full of food as he can manage for now. He will have to wait until camp is set up at nightfall for washing. Levi’s fingers press briefly into Eren’s thigh before he goes off to find his horse.

Commander Hange stops Eren before he can follow. Amidst the bustle of horses being readied and wagons being hitched, they say, “Eren, no one died yesterday. Well done.”

“Really, Commander?”

“Really. I’m proud of you!” They smile. “That was some quick thinking, using your shifter to lure them away. It might even be a strategy we can develop for future expeditions! Though I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to stay a little closer next time. There’s no controlling him when you make decisions like that.”

Eren nods sheepishly.

“So.” They pat his shoulder. “Will you two be sharing a tent tonight?”

Eren gapes.

Commander Hange cackles. “Oh Eren, you wonderful boy. I’m going to have such fun.”

 

Under the warmth of the midday sun, in a world that seems several shades greener and brighter and more alive than it did before, Eren spurs his horse into a canter. He glances over his shoulder at the graveyard of titan bones before it disappears. That could have been his graveyard too, if Levi had arrived just a few seconds later.

He looks back to the front of the formation, where Levi rides with Commander Hange, and watches as Levi’s face tilts subtly towards the endless blue sky. Then the Captain turns to the Commander with a frown and points at something in the distance. Back to business, and still the strongest person Eren has ever known.

And Eren thinks, _I’m glad we catch each other when we fall._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Edit: This fic now has [fanart by Aer](https://omglevixeren.tumblr.com/post/167617161752/this-is-my-fanart-for-one-of-my-favorite-scenes)! *cackles*


End file.
